Selena, it must be hard NOT to react when Justin picks up waitresses to party with and then kisses Ariana Grande, who tweeted the pic. But here’s why you need to stop retaliating!
Selena Gomez , it must be awful for you to read about Justin Bieber‘s adventures with other women and to see their photos.
Selena Gomez — Don’t Worry About Justin’s Behavior
When you see a photo of him kissing Ariana Grande , a very pretty and up and coming star, who is opening for three of his shows, it must just feel like a final straw after hearing how he had fun with bottle waitresses, earlier in the week.
It must have been irresistible to retaliate by Instagramming a moody black and white photo of yourself, up close, forehead-to-forehead with handsome former Wizards of Waverly Place co-star, David Henrie. Then you added the provocative caption, “Homesick.”
You must have wanted Justin to feel some of the jealousy that you’ve been dealing with. And honestly, a lot of other young women wouldn’t blame you for trying to get some revenge on your ex.
You are someone who can’t avoid their ex! He is everywhere. You can’t go online, open a magazine, or even listen to the news without hearing about Justin.
And so when he goes to a nightclub in Southampton, N.Y. and invites a couple of pretty waitresses, who happen to resemble you, back to his hotel to party with his entourage, you are going to hear about it and see the photos.
You’d have to live in Antarctic with no internet for you to not hear the latest Justin news.
Plus, you ARE still in touch with him. You two still talk and text regularly, according to our sources at HollywoodLife.com.
Justin Still Really Loves You
Justin has never wanted to be out of touch with you, even when you were at your most determined to split with him for good. He never stopped texting you or trying to see you. He never wanted to be broken up.
Then of course, he flew cross-country to be there for your big 21st birthday party on July 22. He arrived, dressed up, just like you like, armed with a rose, and you two immediately started talking and PDAing before leaving together.
If Justin didn’t care, he would never have bothered making a six-hour treak to the west coast and then back immediately to make it to his next concert on the east coast.
The fact is — he does care, and so do you. That’s why you keep giving him mixed messages. You won’t take him back but you won’t let him go.
You Two Have A True Connection, Selena
Meanwhile, it’s clear that Justin loves you and has no feelings for any other woman. Even if he parties with bottle girls or kisses singer Ariana Grande on the cheek — she has a boyfriend, FYI — they mean nothing to him emotionally.
“Justin and Selena have gone through a lot together and have a connection that other people won’t understand and it won’t be replaced by a bottle waitress,” agrees advice columnist, Diana Falzone. ”Selena can understand and relate to Justin and his world and very, very few other young women can do that.”
Selena, you should have some comfort knowing — if you can think about it logically, even though that’s difficult — that even if Justin does fool around with other girls, they have no hold on his heart.
And you have to remember two things:
#1. You and Justin are not a committed couple right now, and you are keeping him intentionally at arm’s length.
#2. He is a 19-year-old boy. All 19-year-old young men are filled with uncontrollable raging hormones.
What these two points mean is that you are both free to see other people and live your lives. Also, any 19-year-old guy has a hard time exercising restraint, when it comes to cheating possibilities.
“He has all the money, fame and options in the world and no impulse control,” Diana Falzone points out.
That’s for sure!
Selena — You & Justin Have So Much In Common
Selena, you know how Justin came from a poor, underprivileged background, and now he is wealthy and famous beyond belief, with millions of women throwing themselves at his feet. It’s almost impossible for him to stay grounded and focused on the right values and actions at all times.
“He’s spoiled by the spotlight,” Diana says.
Ironically Selena, you are one of the few people in Justin’s life who can keep him grounded, and I bet that’s a big part of your appeal to him.
Justin doesn’t just love you — he respects and listens to you.
He knows you understand what it’s like to come from a broken home, with a young single mother and virtually no money, and then to achieve enormous success in Hollywood in your teens.
He also knows that you’ve kept your feet on the ground despite your huge success and that you’ve stayed true to yourself and your values.
I bet Justin wants to stay true to his values as well. He may be partying, annoying his neighbor and having a close encounter with a mop bucket, but he doesn’t really want to be “that guy”.
Justin Wants To Be The Guy For You
He wants to be the Justin who befriends children suffering from terminal cancer, who donates generously to help underprivileged kids and who is a good son and grandson.
I think he also wants to be a good boyfriend to you. He’s in love with you and wants to see you much more and be a bigger part of your life.
“He loves Selena in a way that isn’t comparable to anyone else,” Diana believes.
But Selena, there’s a Tug of War between the Justin that wants to be your boyfriend, and the hormone-driven teen who can’t stay away from other girls when you aren’t there.
In any case, you’ve made the right decision to end your exclusive relationship with Justin for now, but to maintain a friendship.
It would be even harder on you to read Justin’s missteps and partying with other girls, if you were his “girlfriend.”
Give him his space; let him make the mistakes he has to make in order to learn from them. You know he’s a smart guy and has a good heart — he will learn from them.
Selena — Focus On You
But let yourself be free to date other guys if you want to! Why not? You’re 21 and single.
Try and enjoy the close and special friendship you do have with Justin.
But refrain from posting revenge photos. It only lets him know how much you’re hurting because you still care so much.
“Take a deep breath — it lessens you — and gives Justin a lot more power right now,” Diana advises, who points out that you and Justin are both playing games.
After all, Justin may also just be trying to get your attention with the waitresses. And honestly, the Ariana kiss just seems harmless.
Try your best not to Google Justin and to live your life and feel secure in your knowledge that Justin is emotionally loyal to you.
Don’t Get Frustrated Selena, It Will All End Up O.K.
You still have a relationship that could very well have a future. “I think they’ll end up as a committed couple though not for a while,” Diana says. “There’s a bond — an emotional attachment. Their families know each other, they have shared history. They won’t fall out of love with each other. They’re just frustrated with each other.”
Yes Selena, it’s a frustrating situation. But don’t make it worse by playing the tit for tat game.
You know your value Selena and so does Justin.
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